Why Psychological Rigidity Is Adversely Affecting Your Teams And DEI Initiatives

Life should be getting easier, but it isn't. This is the paradox of the modern world we live in.

Science and technology continually provide us with previously unimagined tools for living life easily and efficiently. Yet, we all feel we don't have adequate time to do what is meaningful. We are unmotivated at work and unhappy in our lives. The more efficient we become, the more we think we must do. Have you ever noticed this? Workloads seem unmanageable despite our efficiences.

We are living longer, have the technology to reduce the reoccurrence of cancer, reduce mortality rates, and understand moods and thought processes, but our health and social interactions are compromised daily. We don't trust each other in our teams, yet we know we need a support system and each other to survive and succeed both in life and at work. We know what to do to feel good and thrive, yet we don't take care of ourselves. Why is this?

It is crystal clear to me that we need tools, methods, and daily habits that can consciously help us live happier, healthier lives. This psychological rigidity is causing loss of productivity, mental confusion, and lethargy.

I've been studying this science for decades, and have reduced it down to a set of factors that determines why some people thrive and others do not.

One of these determining factors is your level of psychological flexibility. This means your ability to feel and think with openness. It's how you attend to and relate to the present moment and if you take actions or have healthy habits that move you toward your values and aspirations for your life (instead of being rigid toward how life should or needs to be). This includes learning not to avoid our feelings, emotions (in the moment), and pain, but instead being with it, leaning into it, and allowing the meaning and purpose to unfold.

Here are two tools that will help you increase your psychological flexibility. Learning these tools can significantly change your life if you have been affected by negative thought patterns, otherwise called rumination or repeating self-talk.

Floating down the River

This can be done with your eyes closed as a guided meditation.

Imagine that you are watching a quietly flowing brook with large leaves on it floating by. Each thought that comes into your mind, place it on a leaf and watch it float downstream. If it reappears, it's fine — just put the second version on a leaf and allow it to flow downstream. The goal is to stay by the stream, watching your thoughts go. If you discover you've stopped doing the exercise and your mind has gone elsewhere, which is common, try to recognize what led your mind astray. Almost inevitably, what happened was a cognitive fusion with a thought. Something popped into your head, and instead of placing it on a leaf, you started engaging with its content, triggering your automatic thought process. After you notice how the trigger works, get right back to watching th brook and begin again. You are retraining your brain to stay in the present and de-tangle with your thoughts.

Hello, my name is

Another tool that will give you more control of your mind and your life.

Here's how this works: Give your mind a name and listen to it politely.

If your mind has a name, then it is different from "you." When you listen to someone else, you can choose to agree with what they say or not. Pick a name you like. Any name will do. Now, say hello to your mind using its name as if you are meeting it at a conference or a party. Have a conversation with it.

Naming your mind helps you separate yourself from your thoughts and allows you to see your mind as a random thought generator and not as you. This differentiation helps to eliminate the continuous negative self-talk or constant problem-solving self-talk we all engage in. It frees your energy and time and liberates your outlook. You will feel the increased energy and a lighter mood as soon as you start to apply these tools.

Overall, Psychological flexibility is the counterweight that we all need to learn to rise to the increasing challenges of the modern world.

Psychological flexibility and the science behind it show people with this skill have more integrated set of tools for living happier and healthier lives.